Any piece of information you share with others may bring you unexpected opportunities or worries. We talk about the different aspects of self-disclosure that help to turn it from a set of occasional episodes into a vital tool for building relationships.
What is self-disclosure?
Definition
Self-disclosure is the process of sharing personal information, thoughts, feelings, experiences, or beliefs with others. It can happen in various contexts, from casual conversations to therapeutic settings. Self-disclosure plays a key role in building trust, intimacy, and understanding in relationships.
The social aspect of self-disclosure is broadcasting the particular personal information to another person or group. They then can use it to adjust their behaviour or initiate personalized activities.
Notable studies
Self-disclosure is a complex subject to study experimentally. Intuitively, the nature of it is straightforward. From the definition, self-disclosure implies sharing some sensitive information about the subject. Hence, people are expected to be not too enthusiastic about sharing that in the presence of a third party (researcher, recorder, online, etc.). Here are some notable studies of self-disclosure.
First, we can’t pass by the highly influential study from I. Altman and D. Taylor on the social penetration, the process of gradual relationship development [1]. The Social Penetration Theory (SPT) states that relationships develop in a predictable pattern: from superficial conversations to deeper, more intimate exchanges. Social penetration therefore happens in a series of self-disclosure instances. The format of reciprocal self-disclosure implies that relationships stagnate or regress if self-disclosure stops or is negatively received.
S.M. Jourard in his book “Transparent Self” emphasizes that honest and open self-disclosure is crucial for authentic, healthy relationships and mental health. Improvement happens when the person gains the courage to act authentically with others and only when he finds goals that have meaning for him [2].
A study from L. R. Wheeless and J. Grotz (1977) examined the relationship of trust to self-disclosure [3]. A higher level of trust (as opposed to lesser trust as well as distrust) was found to be associated with more consciously intended disclosure and a greater amount of disclosure. To measure “trust”, authors used two metrics: the individualized trust scale (trust-related characteristics for a specific person) and generalized trust scale (trust in people overall). The study concluded that individualized trust was positively related to self-disclosure. Generalized trust, on the other hand, showed no meaningful relationship with self-disclosure.
Breadth and depth of self-disclosure
There are two parameters closely connected with self-disclosure: breadth and depth. Breadth is how varied information one tells about themselves. The depth of disclosure is the degree of intimacy, inner feelings and beliefs. I. Altman and D. Taylor, in their aforementioned work on social penetration theory, map these onto the onion model: there are segments and layers.
Breadth and depth of self-disclosure are both have their importance. Breadth of disclosure helps to create a multi-faceted picture of ourselves. Telling about various aspects of our lives, we increase the chance to find common topics with another person. Depth, on the other side, contributes to mutual understanding. Sharing deeper motives and fears that inspire or prevent, might help another person understand us better and reduce the time towards successful cooperation.
Actually, such a variety of disclosure patterns brings up the idea that a person might not refer to the universal hierarchy of what is “deep” or not for them. Some people would rather reveal the information based on how relevant it is and how sensitive it might be for them at the moment. These concepts are mentioned by S. Petronio, J. T. Child, R. D. Hall in their Communication Privacy Management Theory [5]. This approach to disclosure process makes relationships more dynamic and diverse, and we will be glad to review it in the Knei materials later.
Factors affecting self-disclosure
Let’s consider the situation when you would like to know more about the person. For instance, you do just like them or consider professional cooperation. What are the factors that could help to achieve this?
The most important factor that influences self-disclosure, in the author’s opinion, is proximity [5]. In the study “Friendship, proximity, and disclosure” by Z. Rubin & S. Shenker (1978), the authors assess pair interactions of Harvard students based on their proximity and friendship level. For the proximity measure the pairs of roommates or “hallmates” (living on the same floor) were picked. Friendship measure was set based on the geometric average of “friendship scores” given to another person. The authors observed that disclosure on non-intimate topics was greater for roommates, while intimate topics were disclosed less regardless of proximity. At the same time, the disclosure score for intimate topics differed substantially between close friends and not-close pairs.
There is a consideration that the proximity itself doesn’t change disclosure patterns right away. It rather sets up for communication, which might lead to small self-disclosures, leading to increased trust, leading to even greater self-disclosure. That also rhymes with the mere exposure effect — an increasing preference for the object after repeated exposures.
Building relationships with other people, one can account for both occasional proximity (people regularly stumble into each other) and an arranged one (people meet on purpose).
The next group includes security predictors related to self-disclosure. People like to feel safe while and after sharing sensitive information. Two components of security are anonymity and privacy. Anonymity takes social status out of consideration. Privacy is restricting the number of people who can access the information. J. Suler in his study “The Online Disinhibition Effect” [6] considers more sophisticated self-disclosure factors for online.
Security can be kept by omitting details (no names), separating networks (friends won’t encounter colleagues won’t encounter family), or stressing the value directly (”that is sensitive for me”).
That’s why, along with social media, forums (like Reddit) will remain popular: people can disclose sensitive matters without being recognized, and receive support. Also, there is no better place to have a private talk than in a quiet meeting room designed for that.
Factor of self-disclosure in this part emphasize the importance of an environment choice. Hanging out with a person, especially in a conversation-friendly setting, is a way to set up for mutual self-disclosure.
For instance, having a coffee, going for a walk, or gathering at a bar. Comfortable environment welcomes people to lower natural defenses and show a piece of their personal selves.
Reciprocity is believed to be a fundamental factor of self-disclosure. It states that a fair amount of self-disclosure encourages information sharing in response. We mentioned that effect in the section about a social exchange above. Also that aspect is covered by S. Sprecher et al. in their study “Taking turns” [7]. Participants of the study who disclosed reciprocally reported greater liking, perceived similarity, and other positive characteristics after the first interaction than those who did it one-way.
Emotional context also might be a driver of self-disclosure. A study from R. Zhang (2017) among students suggests that interpersonal and environmental stressors may be significant predictors of disclosure on Facebook [8]. Encountering these, people disclose with a larger degree of intent, honesty, and intimacy.
If you are already close to some extent (and that’s acceptable), don’t forget about a simple physical contact! In the study “A Robot that Encourages Self-disclosure by Hug” [9], researchers observed that hugging a teddy bear-like robot increases the time of communication and self-disclosure amount. What is peculiar, perceived feelings about the robot were not changed significantly.
Impact of self-disclosure
On mental health
Self-disclosure’s impact on mental health is one of the effects of recognized by common wisdom. We can often see the opinion that in a condition of emotional stress or trauma it is helpful to express it to another person or people. While that seems intuitively reasonable, we didn’t manage to find studies that demonstrate this effect.
For example, the experiment from J. Pennebaker [10] split participants into three groups with a questionnaire: disclosing about their trauma, confiding it, and not having a trauma (control group). To assess health, authors used reported illness and frequency of physician visits. As a result, they did not observe a statistically significant difference in those between people who talk about trauma and confide it.
Self-disclosure’s impact on mental health is one of the effects of recognized by common wisdom. We can often see the opinion that in a condition of emotional stress or trauma it is helpful to express it to another person or people. While that seems intuitively reasonable, we didn’t manage to find studies that demonstrate this effect.
For example, the experiment from J. Pennebaker [10] split participants into three groups with a questionnaire: disclosing about their trauma, confiding it, and not having a trauma (control group). To assess health, authors used reported illness and frequency of physician visits. As a result, they did not observe a statistically significant difference in those between people who talk about trauma and confide it.
On social exchange
Another facet of self-disclosure is inspiring a social exchange process. Social exchange is mutual giving of resources and activities with an expectation to receive something in return. A study from M. Worthy et al. [11] of undergraduate students demonstrates the correlation between self-disclosure degree and disclosure from other persons. Subjects tended to disclose more intimate information to those from whom they had received more intimate information (p<.001)
Self-disclosure is an ambiguous tool. Any piece of personal data and emotions shared might bring you useful information, or induce irrelevant episodes, or both. For example, sharing the phone number or messenger handle, you setup for person reaching out to you. Will it be relevant? Depends on what exactly person remembers about you (what you disclosed to them before!).
Summary
Self-disclosure is sharing personal beliefs, thoughts, information, and experiences. Telling something related to ourselves, we might feel better individually. Also, the new information might affect the behaviour of other people, with better or worse consequences for the person.
To set up for meaningful self-disclosure, one may choose an environment that supports a certain level of physical proximity, and address the sense of security in another person. During the conversation itself, one should mind the emotional context and try to be reciprocal in self-disclosure moments, especially when it is expected.
Understanding of the depth and breadth structure of topics for any individual (including ourselves) is an important skill for a thoughtful self-disclosure process.
Self-disclosure is an established process for building relationships. Know basic concepts, practice it thoughtfully, and the effect will come.
References
- Altman, I., & Taylor, D. A. (1973). Social penetration: The development of interpersonal relationships. Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
- Jourard, S. M. (1971). The Transparent Self. Van Nostrand Reinhold.
- Wheeless, L. R., & Grotz, J. (1977). The measurement of trust and its relationship to self‐disclosure. Human Communication Research, 3(3), 250-257.
- Petronio, S., Child, J. T., & Hall, R. D. (2021). Communication privacy management theory: Significance for interpersonal communication. In Engaging theories in interpersonal communication (pp. 314-327). Routledge.
- Rubin, Z., & Shenker, S. (1978). Friendship, proximity, and self‐disclosure 1. Journal of Personality, 46(1), 1-22.
- Suler, J. (2004). The online disinhibition effect. Cyberpsychology & behavior, 7(3), 321-326.
- Sprecher, S., Treger, S., Wondra, J. D., Hilaire, N., & Wallpe, K. (2013). Taking turns: Reciprocal self-disclosure promotes liking in initial interactions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 49(5), 860-866.
- Zhang, R. (2017). The stress-buffering effect of self-disclosure on Facebook: An examination of stressful life events, social support, and mental health among college students. Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 527-537.
- Shiomi, M., Nakata, A., Kanbara, M., Hagita, N. (2017). A Robot that Encourages Self-disclosure by Hug. In: Kheddar, A., et al. Social Robotics. ICSR 2017. Lecture Notes in Computer Science(), vol 10652. Springer, Cham.
- Pennebaker, James W. & Susman, Joan R., 1988. "Disclosure of traumas and psychosomatic processes," Social Science & Medicine, Elsevier, vol. 26(3), pages 327-332, January.
- Worthy, M., Gary, A. L., & Kahn, G. M. (1969). Self-disclosure as an exchange process. Journal of personality and social psychology, 13(1), 59.
- Murre, J. M., & Dros, J. (2015). Replication and analysis of Ebbinghaus’ forgetting curve. PloS one, 10(7), e0120644.
Maintaining relationships thoughtfully is an effort, it takes time and skill. Fortunately, as with any cognitive activity, you can learn to do it better. There are basic practices to keep in touch with people thoughtfully.
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