Building relationships thoughtfully is a helpful activity, but it takes time and effort. Fortunately, as with any cognitive skill, you can learn how to do it better. There are basic practices of keeping in touch with people to build good relations.
- Make a list of people you would like to keep in touch with. Outline what connects you with every person and what activities you can have together. Keep the list short at the start to not overwhelm your attention. Add new members later, when you feel ready to extend your circle.
- Think of how often you need to talk or message a person on the list. And not less important, how often the person might need to remember about you.
- For family members it might be from a day to week.
- For friends it might be every few weeks.
- For mates from your previous life stages (school, university, work) it can be several months or more.
- For acquaintances around a year or more.
Regularity of talks depends on what information you want to exchange and how you cooperate. It really depends on your relationship format. - Set up a regular reminder for every connection. When it's time, reach out to the person and ask about their life. Share your updates that can be of interest or significance to them. If you are not sure about reaching out right away, think of something common to you both to start with.
- Make notes of your talks. To observe the development of your relationship, keep the important information about another person. Next time, it will be easier to remember what is special about your connection and what you can focus on in the following talk.
- Set up for the mindful sharing moments. You may come across an article, resource, event, job posting, or just a meme that is relevant to someone you know (or remind you of them). Don't hesitate to send them a quick email or message to say "hello" and share the link.
- Keep track of people’s special dates. Birthdays, national celebrations, career milestones. Approaching the date, rewind what you know about the person and compose a personalized greeting or something more specific, based on the level of relationship you'd like to have.
- Finally, allocate a place in your memory for your family, friends and acquaintances. That's probably the least concrete (for now), but the most fundamental one. Keeping in touch becomes much more natural when the person is on top of your mind. You start to remember or sense important dates, notice things to share, and get into their life context right away.
This was the basic set of tips on how to keep in touch with friends and family. As you can see, these steps take some preparation and dedication. However, by making it a habit, you can build relations with different people in your life thoughtfully and efficiently.
Maintaining friendly connections and developing them into long-term helpful relationships is the best activity to make a living better.