Hello! Welcome to the Knei team's "highly theoretical" guide to building relations. The guide features aspects you may consider while building a relationship with another person. There are the psychological theories and effects that help to make thoughtful steps.
Relationship development actions are introduced in the form of questions and summaries of psychological models to apply. Below you can read short descriptions of the concepts we included in this guide.
Interpersonal relations models and effects.
Relational needs
Relational needs are the component parts of a universal human desire for relationship. The clinical psychologist Richard Erskine introduced the eight primary relational needs in his article "Attunement and involvement: therapeutic responses to relational needs" (1998). Majority of humans need: (1) security; (2) to feel validated and affirmed in a relationship; (3) to be accepted by a dependable and protective superior; (4) to share personal experience; (5) to self-define; (6) to have an impact on other people; (7) to have the other person initiate; (8) to express love.
Social exchange theory
Social exchange is a set of theories that operate under a fundamental principle of exchange. "Theories" plural, because researchers at different periods have built elaborated models on top of basic principles of social exchange. Under these theories, humans are considered as rational creatures who engage in a cost-reward analysis at some level. We weigh the actual and anticipated rewards of entering into or continuing relationships and interpersonal interactions. Simply put, we stay in touch because we expect that to bring us some value now or later.
Propinquity effect
Propinquity effect — the tendency of individuals to form relationships with people they repeatedly encounter. The closer people are according to some shared value (physical proximity, interest, and others), the higher propinquity they have in that aspect. Read the article about propinquity effect.
Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT)
The uncertainty reduction theory (URT), also known as initial interaction theory, states that people find uncertainty in interpersonal relationships unpleasant and are motivated to reduce it through interpersonal communication. It was developed in 1975 by Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese. They created the uncertainty reduction theory "to explain how communication is used to reduce uncertainties between strangers engaging in their first conversation together". Read more about the uncertainty reduction theory.
Social penetration theory
The social penetration theory (SPT) postulates that people go from superficial to intimate connections through repeated, positive interactions. The theory was formulated by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor and presented in their 1973 book “Social penetration: the development of interpersonal relationships."
The main instrument in building and showing trust is self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is “information, thoughts, or feelings we tell others about ourselves that they would not otherwise know” (McLean, 2005). Taking it step by step and not touching on personal questions too soon, two or more can help develop positive relationships.
Expectancy violations theory
Expectancy violations theory asserts that people have expectations about others behaviour and react when somebody violates them. Response depends on the interpretation of the behaviour (positive or negative), the rewardingness of the violator, and the degree of expectation violation.
Hildegaard Peplau's Theory of Interpersonal Relations
The interpersonal relations theory sees the relationship between two people as a significant, therapeutic, interpersonal process to increase one’s health. The theory was developed for nursing practice by Hildegaard Peplau in 1952. By 1968, the interpersonal techniques became the crux of psychiatric nursing. The interpersonal relations theory identifies four sequential phases of the interpersonal relationship: orientation, identification, explitation, and resolution. You can read H. Peplau's theory review and interpretations for regular relations in our blog
Stages of close relationships
George Levinger, psychologist, identified five stages of interpersonal relationships in a 1980 study. He called this stage theory, which includes: acquaintance, buildup, continuation, deterioration, and ending (termination).
Mere exposure effect
Mere exposure effect refers to a psychological effect of increasing preference for the object through a series of repeated exposures. Simply put, the more a person sees something or someone, the more they might like it over a less familiar alternative. The mere exposure studies had a crucial impact on marketing and behavioural psychology. Read more about mere exposure effect studies here.
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